7 Powerful Things to Say to a Loved One

Our tongues are weapons of mass destruction. They dissolve marriages, friendships, churches and businesses. Reputations and our hopes can be dashed from the power that comes from a simple utterance. We're instructed by the Bible that the world is full of death and entropy since we're under the power of the evil one. However, engaging in this darkness can be combatted by speaking life into the environment. Since we speak an average of 20,000 words per day, and 860.3 million words over our lifetime we can have an influence in our lives. Whether we use them for good or for evil is another matter. James 3:5-6 tells us, "Though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. And the tongue is a fire." God has relegated us with the responsibility when it comes to the words we use and He keeps a record of every careless statement we may deliver. When we use positive words and act with kindness towards people, we cancel out the negativity. Instead of mowing people down today, deliberate the following 7 things to say to a loved one. Who knows, you might feel better in the process as well.

"THANK YOU."

We know nothing is more disheartening than not hearing a "Thank you" or feeling you're not appreciated. If you feel that way, why wouldn't you want to make sure your loved one is affirmed in gratitude? When someone feels appreciated they will also share this with you. Start to thank them for doing the laundry, taking care of the house, the kids, the dog or working long hours to support the family. There are so many small things our loved ones do for us every day, we just forget them sometimes or take it for granted. Make a list of all the things they do for you and know this can have an incredible impact on your relationship when you show gratitude.

"YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL."

People with low self-esteem regard themselves critically and may be on a cycle of feeling like a failure or feel like they lack value as a person. It's always fabulous to receive a compliment. We all need a shot of self-esteem sometimes and when you're told "You're gorgeous," or something of the like, it starts to soften the fears and it may diminish any sorrow especially after a bad day. They may say: "No, I look horrible." Just reaffirm that they are beautiful even with their messy bun and any leftover dinner on their shirt. Words have an incredible ability to heal and to comfort those who are hurting. Tell your mate they look great and do this often because we all need to feel attractive and more importantly, wanted. Mix up the compliments as needed, but be genuine and be yourself.

"YOU CAN MAKE IT."

Powerful words on external looks are great, but we need more than looks to feel good. If you know your mate is dealing with a tough time at work or is struggling to find work-life balance, encourage them that they will cross the finish line and will succeed. Famed author Zig Ziglar said, "He who climbs the highest helps another up." Our words can offer comfort and even energy to those fatigued by life and from daily obligations. Saying "You can make it" on a regular basis can be inspiring to a thirsty person struggling to make it on the last leg of their journey. Being positive like this is infectious and both of you will feel empowered. Having someone behind you to support your efforts is refreshing and it can carry a lot of weight for some people. Be that motivation for your loved one.

"HOW CAN I HELP YOU?"

Sometimes a person needs help in a more practical way. "How can I help you?" is a good starter to show you care. You might be on the way home and you call to see if they need or want anything from the store or from their favorite restaurant. Offer to pick up dinner, do the laundry or watch the kids so they can have an hour to relax to read a book and take a bath. If you want to add more muscle to a relationship, let them know that they matter and that they can depend on you to be there for the little things. This also confirms that you are not always thinking of yourself. A relationship goes both ways and what you sow, you will reap. Try serving your loved one better today by putting them first. It will pay dividends in the relationship and for you as well.

"WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?"

The Stanford University Forgiveness Project found that people who practice forgiveness for minor offenses saw a boost in their health and in their overall relationships. No one likes to admit they were wrong but asking "Will you forgive me?" is a magnificent way to start healing the relationship. Change your perspective and know that forgiveness isn't the end, it's a bridge to understanding. Just because you disagree doesn't mean you can't make peace with them. Rather than punishing the person, you are showing mercy and this not only frees you but also allows the relationship to progress. Anger and resentment will strand a relationship on the rocks as where forgiveness allows them to set sail again. No, forgiveness is never comfortable, but carrying the package of bitterness is more oppressive. Allow yourself to show humility and apologize.

"LET'S DO IT YOUR WAY."

We all have varying opinions and beliefs. We also like to demand our own way and sometimes when we know we're in the wrong. This doesn't bode well for a marriage or any relationship as there needs to be adaptability and tons of it. Try saying “Let’s do it your way" when you find there is no headway being made in a given situation. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes, be fair and communicate with them that they may be right. Also, check in with them to see how they're feeling about the settlement. As a reminder, this is not to be used to make them feel condemned, it's keeping the doors of communication open. You might find that they were wise or it may come back that you were both incorrect. In Ephesians 5:21, we are also told to submit to another and letting things go is part of it.

"I LOVE YOU."

Start saying “I love you” and say it often even after an argument. The reason is this shows unconditional love when things become troublesome. Those 3 words are misused for sure, but like forgiveness, saying "I love you" can stomp out a spark that could've led to a damaging fire in your relationship. In the beginning of a relationship these words are often said, but over time they fade because we think the person doesn't need to hear them anymore. This is part of our faulty thinking and assumptions. Since "I love you" is treated callously, this doesn't mean it doesn't hold value and your loved one needs to hear this often no matter how long you've been together.

Our words wield a ton of power and they can really impact another person's worth and life. By speaking life into another person you can make them flourish or crush their spirit. We may assume people know how we feel, but this is not always the case. Start speaking and using your vocabulary for good to strengthen your most precious relationships.